Oh Deer!

I never could understand humans' need for making better and faster automobiles. Some people naively think that it's the basic mode of communication and is necessary to get from point A to point B in the smallest possible time. Some people churlishly think that it's the symbol of human ingenuity. Some people think that automobiles are a necessary evil that let us commute and make a statement about our status and at the same time give us a reason to worry about the environment! I know better. Automobiles, I hypothesize, are the sole method by which the deer population in North America can be controlled. It's an effective and potent way of slaughtering poor innocent creatures who stray onto the carriageway on account of their incomprehension of the reason for existence of large swaths of concrete and asphalt that cut through their area for the supposed convenience of another species.

A short story about the innocent little deer as written by Doglas Adams would go like this:

Far away in the unfashionable remnants of an insignificant forest was a motorway that claimed, or so it thought it claimed, to improve the otherwise despicable, or so it thought, situation of a species called human. It was happy in the thought that it was helping humans to cover vast distances in short time so that they could do whatever it was that they did. The motorway was not nosy and therefore, didn't investigate what it was that the humans did after they reached their destinations after covering the vast distances in the short times. Moreover, it was happy in thinking that since it was doing such a noble deed, it would go to heaven when it died. The mere fact that it was a motorway and that it would never ever die didn't even think of crossing it's long winded mind. The deer that was serenely standing on its shoulder didn't have a babel fish in its ear. Therefore, when the motorway started warning it when it started to cross over to the left side of the expressway, all it heard was a series of noises that sounded like a couple of rocks in a jute bag being thrown about. No one can still guess how the deer could know how a couple of rocks in a jute bag would sound, but that's what the deer heard and thought. Therefore, the expressway was extremely pissed when the car ploughed into the deer. The deer only thought, "What...?" and died. The car driver thought, "Oh shit, what's deer doing in the middle...?" and the road thought, "Well, there goes my trip to heaven!"

Friendship and the mails that implore you to save it!

I am totally tired of reading mails that project a holier-than-thou attitude and tell a small fable that is supposed to move us into cherishing our friends/parents/realtives/pets/asses/etc and therefore, I have created this real-life scenario. Read on...

Who's poor???

Following is the Holier-than-thou-attitude-wala story of a wealthy father and his wise-beyond-his-years son.

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son. "So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father. The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are. " Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Please pass this page on to friends and acquaintances to help them refresh their perspective and appreciation. "Life is too short and friends are too few."

Now, look at how the story would have really unfolded if an actually wealthy father had taken his city-bred brat to a village.

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the purpose of showing his son how the poor and downtrodden live a meaningless and wretched life. They spent a total of two hours in the shit-hole that the farmers called their home. The son started running away from the place as soon as he saw the food that was placed in front of them. The father, who ran behind his son, caught up with him and asked him, "Now, son, do you see how the poor people live?" The aghast son replied, "Yes, dad!" And he puked a little. The father asked his son, "So tell me, what did you learn from this trip?" The son answered, "I saw that we have two healthy dogs while these farmers have 16 mongrels with attitude problems so bad that no one knows which one will bite you next! We have a swimming pool with clean, chlorinated
water, while these wretches have a creek that's filled with industrial pollutants. We have imported lanterns in our garden whereas the hopeless excuse that they call a garden hardly HAS any plants! Our patio reaches to the front yard whereas these excuses for humans are still fighting about which land belongs to whom! We buy organic food whereas they grow shit-stuff full of pesticides and fertilizers that they sell on the market to our less-fortunate city brethren! We have walls around our property to protect us, whereas these assholes don't and that's because they don't HAVE anything worth stealing!" The boy's father was speechless! Then his son added, "Thanks dad, for being rich and not making our family live in such shitty
surroundings!

NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL PERSPECTIVE!

Good Morning Saturday!

Sundays are the bastards of the week. People like them on Friday but hate them on Saturday. On a Friday, you know that you don't have to go to work tomorrow and the day after tomorrow, but on Saturday, when you get up at 12 noon with a headache because of too many bloody maries yesterday, you are thinking 'Oh NO!', only one more day of cessation of chores, after which, it's back to the grinding mill! HEEEEEEELP!!

Why Capital Punishment should be banned

Let's say that this guy named A kills another guy named B. Let us also say that A meticulously planned the whole thing and then carried out the plan to the T and was successful in murdering B. Mission Accomplished! The Police catch A and get hold of enough evidence to get a conviction. The judge sentences A to death. Let's call the judiciary apparatus C. Now, C is planning to kill A. C has made meticulous preparations to make sure that A dies. Then, C carries out this meticulous plan to the T and is successful in killing A. Pray tell, what's the difference between A and C?

People sometimes say that the mere presence of capital punishment in the judiciary system of a state is a deterrent for people so that less number of murders and killings are committed. However, we can see that capital punishment has not deterred anyone from actually committing a murder because murders are committed in states with capital punishment as rampantly as those without. Therefore, this argument is nullified.

Also, what I think is that the judiciary should not just vengefully mete out slaps on the wrist (or on the neck, for that matter) and make sure that justice really is served. If justice demands an eye for an eye then what's the difference between the civilized world and the Taliban?

Let's say that a person is executed and somewhere in the future, new evidence comes to light that exonerates the person. What does the state do? How does the state make the person come back to life? The state has no right to take what it cannot give back in the event of a mistake committed on its part. If, however, this person were not executed but was kept in a pennitentiary for life (and I mean for life, with no parole), then the state could release them and ask their forgiveness for the time that the state took from them. This is, I think, better than saying sorry to the family of a deceased.

So, it makes one wonder what the difference between capital punishment and murder really is.

From Snake Charmers to Call Center Workers.

This was a shocker right now! I saw news from India on NBC 10 news at 4! The news, however, was about the "Rolling Seer." It showed a half-naked guy who has rolled (yes, literally rolled) the length and breadth of the country and hopes to get a visa to Pakistan so that he can roll into our neighbor (now that's a metaphor that I don't want to laugh at!). Anyway, this shock was somewhat subdued because Indians are traditionally portrayed in the US media as a country of mendicants and snake charmers and this news item only reinforced the fact. They did never show the flight of the GSLV, nor the LCA. They only show these sort of news that reinforce the stereotype.
I did, however, see a news item the other day in Philadelphia Metro that claimed something else. It said, and I quote verbatim, "The consumer revolution has started in India, what with all the Call Center Workers making such a huge amount of money..." So what do you say, people, have we graduated from being snake charmers to being call center workers?

Why research is so important

Hi guys,
This is my first blog, so please bear with me (you are free to bare with me if you are the appropriate sex and age ;-) Anyway, my first blog is actually about why research is so damn important. Research is important because it gives the student money and the professor material to publish. I know, this sounds like the lamest explanation for research, but really, think about it... It's sort of a Catch22 situation. If there is no research, then there won't be enough students and in turn, there will be no research. Ergo, (this is my word for the day!) research is important to keep research alive!