Oh Deer!

I never could understand humans' need for making better and faster automobiles. Some people naively think that it's the basic mode of communication and is necessary to get from point A to point B in the smallest possible time. Some people churlishly think that it's the symbol of human ingenuity. Some people think that automobiles are a necessary evil that let us commute and make a statement about our status and at the same time give us a reason to worry about the environment! I know better. Automobiles, I hypothesize, are the sole method by which the deer population in North America can be controlled. It's an effective and potent way of slaughtering poor innocent creatures who stray onto the carriageway on account of their incomprehension of the reason for existence of large swaths of concrete and asphalt that cut through their area for the supposed convenience of another species.

A short story about the innocent little deer as written by Doglas Adams would go like this:

Far away in the unfashionable remnants of an insignificant forest was a motorway that claimed, or so it thought it claimed, to improve the otherwise despicable, or so it thought, situation of a species called human. It was happy in the thought that it was helping humans to cover vast distances in short time so that they could do whatever it was that they did. The motorway was not nosy and therefore, didn't investigate what it was that the humans did after they reached their destinations after covering the vast distances in the short times. Moreover, it was happy in thinking that since it was doing such a noble deed, it would go to heaven when it died. The mere fact that it was a motorway and that it would never ever die didn't even think of crossing it's long winded mind. The deer that was serenely standing on its shoulder didn't have a babel fish in its ear. Therefore, when the motorway started warning it when it started to cross over to the left side of the expressway, all it heard was a series of noises that sounded like a couple of rocks in a jute bag being thrown about. No one can still guess how the deer could know how a couple of rocks in a jute bag would sound, but that's what the deer heard and thought. Therefore, the expressway was extremely pissed when the car ploughed into the deer. The deer only thought, "What...?" and died. The car driver thought, "Oh shit, what's deer doing in the middle...?" and the road thought, "Well, there goes my trip to heaven!"